“A Thrill of Hope”
This world can be a weary place. I am writing this from an ICU room where I have been sitting with my dad for the last nine days. He is recovering from open heart surgery and I would be lying if I said I was really in the Christmas spirit. I have felt incredibly weary at the suffering I have seen and yet at the same time, through Christ, I have hope. Hope for his recovery and for a better quality of life. I know so many of you can relate to weariness. Weary of the disease, of the failures, of the shame, of the struggle...I don’t believe any of us our exempt from feeling weary at times. But what really breaks my heart, are those that are weary and do not have hope in Christ. I cannot imagine how much more my heart would hurt if I didn’t believe that God has a good plan, and a good purpose to suffering on this side of heaven.
The lyric from O Holy Night, “A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,” really struck me on my drive home last night. I have been walking the line of being both sad and grateful at the same time. I am sad to see the suffering that my dad has endured in these last nine days, and honestly a lot more even leading up to this last event. But then grateful beyond measure at the same time. I am grateful because nine days ago, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make in time to the hospital or if he was going to make it there alive. It wasn’t the first time I have been flying to a hospital trying to bargain with God. But he is still here, and with a fighting spirit. So, while seeing the suffering makes us weary, we can always find something worth rejoicing over.
I am grateful because I know how fortunate we are for him to have the opportunity to have had this surgery. So many people in my life that I consider my closest and dearest friends, have experienced a sudden loss where God had decided it was time for their loved one to come home. Certainly not the timing that those left to miss them would have felt was appropriate. Watching someone you love suffer is incredibly difficult, and in a different way, losing someone unexpectedly is a devastation that is incredibly difficult to reconcile.
It is sometimes so hard to see how any good could come from suffering and loss. But we know the truth. We know we serve a loving, faithful and just God. It is promised to us that God always uses our pain for His purpose. That suffering on this side of heaven never goes unnoticed. And that even when it is so hard to see light in a dark situation, we know that God is good and that He is peace. If we seek Him, we will find Him. That He is near to those that are suffering-wrapping his arms around them, going before them in life's battles.
If you are struggling with weariness this holiday season, from whatever may be the cause, remember the, “thrill of hope,” that is the birth of our Savior, Jesus. On those long drives as you pass Christmas lights, remember He is our light, our comfort and our strength. Try to find gratefulness amidst the sadness. Remember that in that manger all of those years ago, Hope was brought into the world. I pray that through knowing and seeking Him, in your pain you will find that “thrill of Hope.” Knowing that in Him, we have hope for this weary world to rejoice.